


softer

by thedarknesswithin (babylxxrry)



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Sensory Overload
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 11:01:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17222789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babylxxrry/pseuds/thedarknesswithin
Summary: stephane finds deniss on the balcony.





	softer

**Author's Note:**

> hey! i know sensory shit seems to be a recurring theme for me but yknow when life throws you shit you write it out. this may or may not be entirely coherent because it’s almost 3am and my proofreading consisted of a scroll through. 
> 
> dedicated to natalia (sad hours always open!!)

Stephane finds Deniss on the balcony. The sliding door is half-open, the chilly evening breeze ruffling the curtains. The old floorboards creak softly under Stephane's footsteps as he approaches the door. It squeaks when he pushes it open.

Deniss is leaning against the railing, staring into some distant landscape. It's quiet out here, though Stephane can hear the muffled music from downstairs if he tries hard enough. He hesitates on the threshold, unsure if Deniss wants his space.

“Deni?”

There's no indication Deniss heard him. Stephane tries again.

“Can I join you?"

Deniss' head tilts just slightly, almost too little to see. Stephane sees it anyways. He always does.

He takes the two little steps forward to the railing, mimicking Deniss’ position and leaning against the cold metal.

"I was looking for you," Stephane says, keeping his attention forward, on the starlit landscape spreading beneath them.

Deniss doesn't reply, soft breaths puffing out in clouds of vapor. He seems distant, like he's somewhere else entirely and all that’s here is his body.

“I was worried,” Stephane offers after a few quiet minutes. He glances over in time to catch Deniss duck his head just a little, a familiar motion that usually happens when Deniss feels that he’s failed at something he thinks he shouldn’t have.

“Are you okay?”

A shrug.

"Deniss." Stephane pulls on just enough of his coach voice to get Deniss' attention.

Deniss sighs. "I couldn't handle it," he mutters. "Just...too much all at once and my head is.." he trails off and gestures around his head, something that vaguely reminds Stephane of grabby hands, but towards his temples instead.

"Was it something specific?" Stephane longs to pull Deniss into his side, to hold him, to fix everything that's wrong, but it sounds like that contact might be counterproductive right now. He contents himself with fiddling with his necklace, rolling it back and forth between his fingertips and feeling the familiar contours against his skin.

"All of it, I think," Deniss says after a pause. "After going into the city today, then all this tonight... it was all just too much. I couldn't breathe. I'm sorry I left."

"No. Deni, no. It's okay. I was just worried because I didn't know if you were okay." Stephane looks over, finding Deniss already watching him. "Tell me more, if you want. I'm here."

“I don't know how to explain it. It's just like too much sensory information all at once. Suddenly everything is too loud and too bright and too much, and you're super aware of it. It's weird." Deniss furrows his brows, seeming to struggle for words for a minute. "It's something my parents said they dealt with a lot when l was little. They couldn't go to the mall or anything with a lot of people and noise for too long because l would start crying. It's stupid, I know."

“It's not. And what's this about not being able to breathe?" Stephane knows he's dealt with the whole sensory overload thing a few times himself, but from what Deniss has said, this is probably something bit more complex than overwork, over-socialization, exhaustion, and adrenaline crashes.

Deniss shrugs, heavy exhale clouding the air. "When everything's crashing over you and around you and in you, you just forget to breathe and no matter what you tell yourself, you can't make your lungs work. So I had to leave."

"I'm sorry. We shouldn't have put everything on the same day."

"No, don't be. This was the only day everyone could make, and it just so happened to line up like it did."

"But you're not having a good time," Stephane notes. "You're struggling.”

Deniss laughs, quick and humorless. "I can usually deal with it okay. Pushed too far today, but I'll be okay.”

"Can I touch you?" Stephane realizes how inappropriate it sounds once it's out of his mouth, but he lets it go. Deniss will understand. He always does.

“Sorry?"

"Can I give you a hug? I didn’t know if you'd be able to handle more sensory things so I didn't want to just hug without asking."

Deniss doesn't reply, just turning and stepping forward into Stephane's arms. Stephane makes a little noise of surprise before he wraps his arms around Deniss, one hand coming up to cradle the back of his head out of habit. He feels Deniss tremble, from cold or from overloading or both, and he holds him tighter. Deniss' cold nose touches his neck, and Stephane gives himself credit for not flinching. He feels Deniss settle as close as he can while standing, burying his face in Stephane's chest and shuffling his feet closer until they're almost on top of Stephane's.

“I've got you," Stephane murmurs into Deniss' soft hair, dropping mindless kisses on his head. "I've got you, mon cheri. Je t'ai eu, Deni. Je t'ai eu."

Stephane doesn't know how long they stand there. Deniss is wrapped in his arms, soft and small and cold, and Stephane ends up talking quietly in alternating English and French, meaningless and gentle. He feels Deniss breathe against him, slow and steady, recollecting his mind. Stephane subconsciously matches Deniss' breathing rhythm. It just works better that way.

Eventually, when the breeze gets to be too cold to bear, Stephane pulls back just a little, cupping Deniss' face in his hands.

"Let's go in, yeah? It's cold out."

Deniss seems to search his face, eyes big and curious. Stephane can see the stars reflected in them, literally, and he sends a silent word of thanks upward that they have the fortune of living here, where the stars are so bright and clear every night.

"Thank you," Deniss says. "For tonight. For everything."

Stephane presses a lingering kiss to his forehead. "Toujours, cheri. I've got you. Always."

 

  
-fin.

**Author's Note:**

> translations:  
> je t’ai eu - i’ve got you  
> toujours - always 
> 
>  
> 
> thank you so much for reading!
> 
> leave a comment or kudos as a virtual hug for deniss (and steph) <3


End file.
